genuinely been feeling so low lately. this time of year is always really tough but I feel even worse than usual. I’m feeling so lonely and unnecessary. And I genuinely keep thinking like “if I died it wouldn’t even make any difference” and then I wonder about how I’d commit suicide and if I’d really do it. And it’s not like I want to die, I just can’t deal with carrying on living anymore unless my life begins to pick up and become worth living. I feel like such a drain on society and everyone around me. I’m so boring and unsuccessful, I’m doing and going nothing and nowhere with my life. Just honestly don’t know what to do. I feel so trapped and alone and I want somebody to save me but I don’t even think anybody can.